Magic

I went home this weekend and had the opportunity to hang out with my entire family. While sitting around joking, I realized how much fun we all have together. I laughed and reminisced with my brother Brian about how fun it will be to see Ken Griffey Jr. in a Mariners uniform again. I laughed and joked with my brother Phil about a variety of things, most notably his girlfriend's choices in music and television. My Mom and I had more fun and intelligent conversations. I even got the opportunity to see my Dad, who made his annual visit to my Mom's house to help work on somebody's car. What was probably the most rewarding was the interest that my nephew was exhibiting towards reading books and repeating every word that I read to him. I pointed to a picture and he would say the word that we were using to associate to that particular picture. I laughed when he repeated the number 9-1-1 in his own version, "One, one."
He's growing up quick and his little boy days are starting to replace memories of holding him with a bottle, falling asleep with him sleeping on my chest, and doing whatever I could to get him to laugh. He's developing a personality and despite the fact that he can be a real turd, it's a joy to be around him.
I took him outside to explore the mysteries of my Mom's backyard. I picked up a stick to whack the bush, he picked up a stick to whack the bush. I jumped down a step, he jumped down a step. I pretended to eat a leaf, he actually tried to eat it, but not before I could pull it out of his mouth.
The experience of raising a child can be exhilarating, time-consuming, and tiring all at the same time. However, these are the moments that we remember most especially when they grow up to become young men and women. I remember my parents telling me stories of my childhood and how much I have changed over the years. I still find myself changing and trying to make improvements.
I'm not in a position right now to have children. However, that's not to say that I couldn't handle it. I've seen just how far my brother has come along while trying to take care of my nephew. I used to worry about my ability to be a parent, but after being extremely close to my nephew for 2 years I know that I'm the little league/soccer/life coach that every man desires to become.
Children have a way of humbling us and making us appreciate the things that we have forgotten to appreciate. They find humor in simple, goofy things and it's because of them that we can, once again, find them funny. To imitate the growling of a bear or the meowing of a kitty are joys to a child. That joy still exists within me as it does within you.
Aging and learning are parallel to the complication of the most simple things. When we're kids, we understood that Santa could make it to every house, on every continent of the globe because of magic. When we grow older and become adults, we "understand" that to do such a feat would be impossible because of physics and mathematics. When I see my nephew, the magic that I once thought was the answer for everything comes back to life. It makes me realize that sometimes not knowing the answer to everything is okay. That ignorance is not bliss, but a blessing. If I could "unlearn" certain other things in order to enjoy life more...I'd do it. However, having my nephew around has allowed me to be the same and experience the magic of "the unknown".
What is the weather going to be like tomorrow? Sure, I could turn on the news and check the 5-day forecast and prepare for rain and/or sunshine, but I prefer another option. I like waking up and having to look out the window to determine what to wear. If I looked at the forecast I would never be surprised. I deprive myself of having something to look forward to in the morning. If the forecast was wrong, I'd be upset and disappointed and feel the urge to blame the meteorologist. I prefer to live day-to-day and not know what will be happening tomorrow.
We've become a world where the time with our family and loved ones are supposed to fit in a specific time-slot and are only to last "X" amount of time. Whatever happened to taking your kids to the park to swing on the swings and deciding, right then and there, that you should go see a movie or take in a baseball game? Trying to know everything takes away from the magic of life. Sometimes not knowing allows us to be more free and spontaneous.
Remember how excited you got when you heard the chiming of the ice cream truck? He'd always come around right when you REALLY wanted ice cream. Now, if you knew the exact times and the days that he would come around...you'd never be surprised to see him. In fact, you'd be standing on the curb with your hand on your hip and eyes on your watch waiting for him to show.
I have no problem with being organized and having "all my ducks in a row". Only those who have seen my studio apartment truly understand that organization and cleanliness are not in my vocabulary. I wake up, toss the blanket to the end of my bed, grab a shirt from off the floor, a pair of jeans from my "jean pile", two socks that are similar and don't stink, and I get ready for class. Being a guy helps me get away with this much easier than if I were a woman. However, don't let that pull you away from what I'm trying to say.
Life is all about balance. We cannot control everything and we cannot have everything that we want. Money isn't necessary for happiness. We can organize our weekly schedules, but we should also devote time to our "whatever happens, happens" slot. We should welcome spontaneity and wonder. We should start each day with a laugh and end each day with a happy thought. We should slow down and soak it all in more often. We should hug more, kiss more, and love more. We should find alone time and use it to cry, contemplate a future decision, and/or relax the brain. We should be comfortable in our clothes and not be aiming to outdo someone else. When I look at an open field full of grass and flowers, I don't see a location for a housing development. I see it as a place where children can run through the flowers while holding the line to a kite. We should find time for magic.
Life is also about magic. Magic is a word with much meaning and little belief. A man/woman whom always bases his/her decisions by the "cost-benefit analysis" is only depriving themselves of magic. Magic is a monster underneath a little boys bed. Magic is the beautiful princess flying through the sky on a unicorn. Magic is seeing your childhood hero return home to play for your favorite baseball team one last time.
There is magic everywhere, we're just too distraught to see it. There's magic in a relationship/marriage. Dragons, talking animals, and a childhood baseball hero are magic within a child's bedtime story. Magic is the answer to a child's question. There is magic in stories, scripts, plays, and movies. Magic is everywhere...we just need to find time to look for it.
The people who ask, "where time went" aren't living in the moment. They're always trying to fill their schedule with things that they feel they "must do".
This is for the people who place monetary value on time. This is for the people who read books to get ahead in their particular field instead of taking their brain on a magical journey. This is for the people who only cry when they're sad.
Sometimes it's okay to not know something. A life spent looking for answers is a life wasted. Instead of beeping car horns and ringing phones we should be hearing a child's giggle or the water from a waterfall crashing on the rocks. Instead of enjoying things that require money we should be enjoying things that cost less and reward more. Instead of bringing your work home you should be taking your son/daughter fishing or to a drive-in movie with a playground.
Life is short. We shouldn't dwell on the time that we have left, we should consider how every second and every breath is an extension of our wonderful life and an opportunity to make the most of it. The act of learning is also the act of forgetting. Let us not forget our innocence and what makes us laugh. Remember the reasons that you love someone and make sure to tell them every chance that you get. Spend more time closing your eyes and using your imagination to travel to distant lands, walk through the rainforest, and fly like a bird. Remember to laugh at a funny face, be amazed at the sight of a bubble, and to growl like a bear.
We all believed in magic at one point in our lives, but forgot all about it as we matured. The secret to a happy life lies not within our financial standing or our job title, but in the magic that once allowed us to fly, to believe in dragons and sorcerers, and to believe that Santa could stop at every single house on every continent in one night.

Why This Year's Academy Awards Sucked

As many of you probably know, I love politics. However, I don't like it when politics show up at places where it doesn't belong.
I went home Saturday night to hang out with my family. It has been a family tradition that we watch the Academy Awards together and we have been doing it for the last 10 years. This year's show was, by far, the worst. There are a number of reasons for why I feel this way:

1. Kate Winslet should have won Best Actress, I'm not arguing that. However, her acting performance in "Revolutionary Road" was far superior to her role in "The Reader".

2. Hugh Jackman was a terrible choice for host. The Academy should have given it to Jon Stewart.

3. The amount of singing made me want to shove wooden spoons in my ears to numb myself from the pain.

4. Beyonce. I know that many people love her, but I, personally, can't stand her.

5. The person holding the camera during the "In Memoriam" portion of the show couldn't hold the camera still for more than 2 seconds. It was like watching "Cloverfield" while having a seizure in the middle of a San Francisco earthquake.

6. The James Franco/Seth Rogan skit from "Pineapple Express" and Ben Stiller imitating Joaquin Phoenix were the only funny moments of the entire show.

7. New rule for future award ceremonies: No member from any of the "High School Musical" movies shall be granted access. The site of Zac Efron makes me want to kick a kitten. (this is a metaphor, people...not to be taken seriously...but I really, really do dislike Zac Efron)

8. The Academy is and always has been scared of giving awards to movies with questionable content. (CASE AND POINT BELOW)

9. They should have voting remotes at each seat at the Academy Awards to see how many people agree/disagree with the Academy's decision.

10. This was my biggest quarrel: Sean Penn winning Best Actor over Mickey Rourke. Look, I actually watched both "Milk" and "The Wrestler" (in fact, I've actually watched every movie that was nominated this year...minus animation, foreign, and short) and I honestly felt that Mickey Rourke did a much better job. Still don't agree with me? I'll break it down for you:

-"Milk" without Sean Penn still would have been a great movie
-"The Wrestler" wouldn't exist without Mickey Rourke
-The Academy gave the Oscar to the actor that made people feel good. This is nothing new and has become a trend at the Academy Awards.

Sean Penn beating out Mickey Rourke was as disappointing as when "Dances With Wolves" beat out "Goodfellas" in 1990, "Forest Gump" beating out BOTH "Pulp Fiction" and "Shawshank Redemption" in 1994, and when "Rocky" beat out "Taxi Driver" for best movie in 1976. Now, there are noticeable differences between the winners and the movies that got beat out. In each of these 3 examples, none of the winning films were rated "R". Each of the movies that were beat out had "questionable" content in them. The Academy is afraid of giving an Oscar to a movie that will have people asking questions. However, the situation with Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke is different.

Sean Penn, in my opinion, won the Academy Award for Best Actor simply because it was a political decision. They gave it to Penn because of the passing of Proposition 8 in California. They may have also done so because of the pressure that they received after giving Best Film to "Crash" over Ang Lee's "Brokeback Mountain" in 2005. For those of you who don't remember, this was a HUGE upset and led to massive complaints to the Academy (many from gay rights activists, etc). Imagine what would happen if Sean Penn would have LOST this year especially after the passing of Proposition 8. I might also add that the Academy's President Sid Ganis is stepping down this year. What better than to go out with as little controversy and protest as possible. Sean Penn did a great job in "Milk", but it was Mickey Rourke's role as Randy "The Ram" Robinson that shined more brightly than any of the nominated actors.

Please Come Home

Ever since the idea of a Ken Griffey Jr. return to the Mariners was possible, I've been intrigued. Last week, I constantly checked out the Mariners' homepage hoping to read, "Griffey Returns Home". However, that never came to be. In fact, yesterday was one of the worst emotional roller coasters I have ever been on. First, a report from an Atlanta paper stated that Griffey had agreed to terms with the Braves. My feelings: my heart dropped, my nerves went numb, and I felt tears building up inside. Why? Why do I care and what impact does this have on me? Well, it means something to me. In fact, it means a lot to me. I'll explain.

Baseball, to me, is where some of my greatest childhood memories reside. Edgar Martinez' double off of Jack McDowell to score Joey Cora and Ken Griffey Jr. was the pinnacle of those memories. The Mariners lost the first two games of the best of 5 series to the NY Yankees. Everyone had written off the Seattle Mariners...except the fans here in Seattle. We never gave up and we never admitted that anything was over. We knew what we needed to do and we knew exactly how to do it. After tying the series up at two, all eyes were set on game 5. Before going any further, I have to explain how we actually came to this point.

The Mariners played very well for most of the 1995 season. However, it was the last month of the regular season that baseball witnessed one of the greatest comebacks in baseball history. The Mariners trailed the California Angels by 13 games in August. By the last game of the season, the Mariners had tied it all up and the entire season rested on a tie-breaker to be played in Seattle. This was the first time that the Mariners had ever played in a playoff atmosphere game. For the first time in my life, I got to see how much baseball meant to people and I saw how it brought people together. Sure, things like this have happened to a few teams in the past, but it was different in Seattle.

I remember that life stood still and every teacher had the game on so that we could watch it. They could care less what we did that day because this was something that we were to remember for the rest of our lives. To this day, it still is.

We roughed up Mark Langston, saw sloth-like Luis Sojo clear the bases with an "inside the ballpark homerun" (realistically, it was a double with an error, but we all consider it a homerun), and saw Randy Johnson point to the skies as he struck out the last batter. The emotions, the fireworks, the hugging, the cheering, the smiles, the love...this was baseball for me. It has never lost its luster.

Seattle has never gotten much support from the sports world and our baseball and football teams were on the verge of moving to Florida. It was Edgar Martinez' double that saved the Mariners...and it was Ken Griffey Jr.'s smile on the bottom of that stack of Seattle Mariner players that we all remember so vividly. His facial expression was the joy that is baseball. It's supposed to be fun and, to people like me, reminds us just how wonderful the game of baseball truly is. I love baseball...I always have and I always will.

The 95 season was something that I will never witness again in my life. Even if something like that happens, it won't be the same. That's not to say that I wouldn't love to see something like that again, but that was a one-way ticket for me and I'm content with that. We all forget what happened in the ALCS. Just to be a part of that series was nothing short of amazing. Everyone had written us off and we stuck together to prove them all wrong. That was our statement to the baseball world that we have a team in Seattle called the Mariners and that we, the fans, will always stand by them.

Edgar Martinez never left this team. Jay Buhner never left this team. Everyone else, left this team. Tino Martinez left, Alex Rodriguez left, Randy Johnson left, and "The Kid" Ken Griffey Jr. left. Unlike those that left, nobody was shown more love than the love that we gave Jr. on that weekend that he returned to Safeco Field for the first time in 7 years as a member of the Cincinnati Reds...I attended all three games. He was afraid that he would get "booed". That may have been true if it were any other city in this country, but he underestimated the love that exists in Seattle. We remembered what he did for the game of baseball in Seattle and for our lives and we wanted to let him know how much that meant to us. Seeing him play baseball in person gave me goosebumps. It gave me glimpses of what drew me into this game.

It may have been Edgar's 2-RBI double that won game 5 of the 1995 ALDS for the Mariners, but it was the smiling face at the bottom of the pile that we will always remember. It was the smile of a boy who loved to play baseball. It was the smile of a baseball player experiencing the joys of playing this wonderful game. It was Ken Griffey Jr.'s smile that we fell in love with. To see that and experience it just one last time, would give hope to, not only me, but a city so desperate for something to numb us from the pain of losing and being disrespected.

As I write this, I feel scared. I'm scared to wake up and read "Griffey Signs With Braves". That may not have much of an impact on the average citizen or even the average baseball fan. However, it will have a huge impact on someone like me...who wanted to see his #24 Seattle Mariners jersey, see him in batting practice with his hat backwards, and to see him smile just one last time. That's all we ever wanted. We have one last chance to experience a little bit of the magic that was 1995. It's our last chance to show our kids how memorable that was to us and how important Griffey was to that equation. If he signs with the Braves, he will become nothing more than a distant memory and it will do irreparable damage to the hearts of Seattle fans that love this game, and this team, so very much. I hope, I wish, and I wait. Please Jr...please come home.

It's Within All Of Us

Surrounded by ignorance,
This dance of death has been done before,
What makes this time any different?
Ambition has been replaced by greed,
Compassion replaced by egoism,
They personify all that is wrong,
What can I do?
I'm fueled by ambitions,
I am also compassionate,
Are greed and egoism contagious?
What does it take to stand out?
I feel for those lost in the shadows,
I cry for those living in pain,
Single mothers abandoned by scared little "boys",
Young men with wonderful hearts, but without bravery,
A woman being hounded as she walks into an abortion clinic,
An abused woman hiding in a closet, in a room,
An abused child, hiding under his/her bed,
An elderly woman, neglected by her family,
A military veteran ignored by society,
A parent working two jobs,
A family that continues to love an addict,
A man who refuses to leave despite her adulterous ways,
A parent raising a special needs child,
And a caring teacher, left helpless by budgets cuts,
These are the people I stand for,
These are the people that make up the world,
Homes with white picket fences are a myth,
Addiction knows no race, sex, or face,
Abuse runs parallel with pride and anger,
Pain seeks out the weak and refuses to let go,
However, there is something much greater than pain,
Stronger and more powerful than abuse and neglect,
It keeps a family close,
A wife by her husband's side,
A husband cuddling in bed at night,
A child laughing,
It gives a lonely man a smile,
A single mother warmth,
A military veteran acceptance,
An addict hope,
It gives children a chance,
A murderer guilt,
A politician an ultimatum,
A suicidal person a reason to reconsider,
And it keeps me here,
For you,
To offer my hand when you fall,
My shoulder for when you cry,
My ear for when you vent,
My eyes to tell you how beautiful you are,
My voice to comfort you,
My mouth to give you a smile,
My heart to give you compassion,
My lungs to breathe into yours, just in case,
My kidney, just in case,
And my life, if that situation were to arise,
That thing, is pure, unfiltered love,
And that love within me spreads into you,
And in you, it turns into hope,
For, within you, I see hope,
That hope is worth my life,
It's worth my time, my health, and my money,
You are what keeps me going,
You are everything to me,
I only ask one thing in return,
Treat others in the same manner that I treat you,
Help them, comfort them, care for them, and love them,
For then, you too, will see that hope,
That hope that lies dormant within all of us,
Until love comes around and sets it free,
And when that happens, it will spread like wildfire,
Let it not die with you,
Let it burn within you and infect everyone you see,
Let it remove hatred, ignorance, and pain in one fellow swoop,
Let it not trickle up, nor trickle down,
Let it trickle on a level that exists in us all,
That level is love, and love will bring upon hope,
Hope for a brighter future,
Hope for every child to get an equal opportunity,
Hope to drown hunger in waves of compassion and giving,
Hope to strangle ignorance from society's ills,
Hope to rid this world of the hatred that separates us all,
Hope for us to find similarities within each other,
For I see hope in everyone,
And that is why I'm here,
To provide the love that will set hope free,
There is hope inside of you,
As it exists within me.

Soak It All In

Close your eyes,
Feel the warmth of the sun,
Breathe in through your nose,
Taste that which only exists in these moments,
Listen to the breeze,
The sound of the waterfall,
I am whole once again,
Exhale slowly,
Smell that which only exists in these locations,
All alone yet completely surrounded,
In control, but totally and utterly vulnerable,
Every sense is heightened,
Entire body feels weightless,
Movements resemble underwater dance,
Take advantage of these moments,
Appreciate small wonders,
Expect nothing and everything at the same time,
Remember why you're here,
Soak it all in,
Every single drop,
Real world has burdened you,
So you keep coming back,
To this mystical place,
A place full of wonders,
A heightened sense of awareness,
Because here you are whole,
It is here that you are free.