Monday, December 20, 2010

Auto-Correction Software

Dear Texting Auto-Correction Software,

You have always been there for me through the hardest of times and the
easiest of times. You have corrected my typos and helped guide me
towards finding the correct spelling of many difficult words. However,
I have reached my tipping point.

When I begin to type in a word, such as “sh*tty” (commonly used as an
adjective to describe how my day is going and/or how I feel at that time), you
automatically change it to “shorty”. This has become a problem. I,
like so many other people, find it acceptable to curse from time to
time. I think that one should definitely set personal limitations when it comes to
cursing, but I still think that people should be able to say and write
whatever their hearts desire. I would truly appreciate it if you could
look the other way whenever I felt the urge to be vulgar and
socially unacceptable. They aren’t your words; they’re mine.


Much Obliged,

Matthew Thomas Cornwall

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Christmas To Me

Last night, during the Yule Celebration in Philipsburg, I got to witness someone make an issue about whether to say "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays". I was walking around town a lot last night (because I was in the middle of a very engaging two-hour conversation with a particular someone...in freezing cold temperatures, I might add) and I saw one gentleman walk past another and say, "Happy Holidays". Now, the usual response to such a greeting would be, "You too", "Happy Holidays, or "Merry Christmas". The guy's was response was with the latter. However, the issue wasn't with the particular phrasing that he chose to use, it was with the tone in which he responded.

After he heard the other gentleman greet him, he turned around and responded and, in doing so, placed much emphasis on the consonants in the beginning of both "Merry" and "Christmas". Now, the second guy, obviously, was offended by the opening greeting from the first guy. That's understandable. However, to make a public spectacle over another person's nice gesture is just, well, rude.

I understand that there are people out there that prefer saying one greeting over the other. However, if someone says "Merry Christmas" to me, regardless of how I feel I'm going to respond back with the exact same greeting. It's just not something worth fighting over.

I laughed when Bill O'Reilly declared that there was a "war on Christmas". It was merely the fringe of non-believers making a lot of noise. Anything associated with controversial historical occurrences and/or religion will always be met with opposition from small groups of individuals.

And why are they doing this? Because it riles up the media and it strikes a chord with most Americans. By simply ignoring these people, their arguments and protests will fall upon deaf ears and they will return to whence they came.

Christmas, to me, always created the best childhood memories for me. These specific memories have absolutely nothing to do with what I got from Santa, my parents, or my grandparents. The best of my childhood memories stem from being with my family and spending time with them. As I have gotten older, the family gatherings during the holidays have gotten smaller and harder to schedule. Family members have passed away and others have grown up and moved away. This happens; it's a part of life. I also realize that these moments were special because these particular people are no longer here and I remember how wonderful it was just to have had them around.

My brothers and I would always spend Christmas Eve with our Dad and stepmom. We would go over to his house, eat a succulent meal, hand out gifts one by one (with someone playing the role of "Santa"), and spend the rest of the evening exchanging stories and memories of Christmases past. We would always leave around 8pm or 9pm and drive back to our Mom's place.

Our Mom would always allow us to open just one gift before we went to bed. It was usually a pair of pajamas (I actually enjoy pajamas, socks, and underwear now more than anything) or some other article of clothing. However simple it was, it has become tradition and traditions remain in our hearts and minds for as long as we're on this Earth.

Right before going to sleep, we would always set out a plate of cookies, a glass of milk, a carrot for Rudolph, and a signed letter for Santa. When we woke up in the morning, the cookies would only be partially eaten, the milk was all gone, and nibbles were taken out of the carrot.

The distribution of gifts would always build up to the gift that my Mom always felt was the "gotcha" gift for that year. This would sometimes be a tag-team effort with her and the Grandparents. One of our first gifts may have been a video game or a CD (back when CD players were rare...I know, I'm old) or something else that would prelude a bigger and/or compatible gift.

After we opened gifts, our Grandparents and Uncle would come down and bring along their gifts. We'd go through another round of that and would gradually start getting ready for Christmas dinner together. These, as difficult as it is to believe, are what I miss the most. I miss my Grandfather always demanding sweet potatoes and his large chunk of dark turkey meat. I miss the ambrosia salad that I thought was gross until I developed a palate that opened a door to the fascinating world of healthy foods. I miss the discussions, the laughter, the jokes (even dirty jokes made their way to the table), the food, feeding the food to our dog under the table, and I even miss my Grandfather's opening prayer (a traditional saying in many Catholic families).

Despite how "religious" that may sound, I never saw it that way or, at least, to the degree that many others do. Sure, I know what the entire day and season mean, but everyone's Christmas season is different.

I see those days and those memories as the cornerstones to my life and what makes me the man that I am today. As I got older, Christmases started to lose their luster and people started getting older and, eventually, began passing on. Each Christmas we'd talk about how much we missed the other person and all of our memories of them. Then, another would pass on; the cycle of missing and memories would, again, come to fruition. This pattern changed on December 7th, 2006; the day that my nephew, Tyler Nicholas Cornwall, came into this world and into my life.

I instantly and unconditionally loved him. My life was put on hold and I was determined to help raise him and to help create memories for him in the same way that my parents did for me. That Christmas, merely 18 days after he was born, I rediscovered the magic of Christmas. You see, the positive memories that my family made for me were paramount to me creating positive memories for Tyler. His joy is all I look forward to experiencing each year. Everything else is just an added bonus.

The magic of Christmas, to me, stems from the memories that were created and shared. Sure, religion played a role in it; however, the childhood memories are what shaped me to become the man that I am today. From this day forward, my Christmases are geared towards maintaining the cycle of childhood memories that my family bestowed upon me. To deny a child of happiness and childhood memories is not something that I can personally do.

I understand that holidays have a deeper, more meaningful purpose behind them. However, regardless of how one feels about that holiday, creating memories, particularly childhood memories, play a very important role in each of our lives. There are many lifelong lessons to be learned while spending time with your family on the holidays. Each of these people, regardless of how annoying we may think they are, played a role in our life. Whether it was a laugh, a gift, or an embrace, that person won't always be there.

We only get a small window in life to spend time with the people that we love and it's very important that we all make the most of each opportunity. When these people are no longer with us, the chances to create memories with them are also no longer with us. It's important to make the most of each situation.

The Christmas season is different to everyone and we all celebrate it in our own way. If someone says, "Happy Holidays" to you, they're merely trying to be polite. So, return the favor. The last thing we need in this world is someone that we don't know dragging us down during the happiest time of the year. The same applies to people saying, "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays". You're not that important and nobody really cares about what you think. Just return the favor, smile, and continue on your way.

As I sit here and write this on a cold Montana day, I really want to take the opportunity to thank the people that were responsible for giving me all of those wonderful memories and that helped me to become the man that I am today.

Grandpa John- Thank you for always being the "glue" in our family. Thank you for always getting gifts that were sentimental, particularly the Christmas before you passed away. You always knew how much we enjoyed camping with you each summer and how important those memories were to us. On our last Christmas, you had gone out of your way to buy us all of the necessary camping gear that we would need; to continue the tradition and to help create more memories. I find myself talking to you from time to time...hoping to hear your voice again. It still hasn't happened, but I haven't given up hope. I love you and I miss you, so very much. Rest in peace.

Grandma Terry- You were the cornerstone of the family. Despite your size, you were one of the strongest people that I have ever met. Your attention to each individual detail was unmatched. You always shook your head and rolled your eyes at the jokes that we would sometimes tell. The love that you had for your husband, John, will forever be the example that I hope to emulate. I miss your smile, your hugs, your cooking, and I miss the small, silent leader that you always were. Your husband loved you so very much and I hope that the two of you are holding hands and looking down on us as we try to continue the traditions that you both bestowed upon us. We may, at times, fail, but our intentions are geniune. I love you and I miss you, so very much. Rest in peace.

Mom- You always knew how to go out of your way to make each Christmas special. I will always remember baking cookies, egg rolls, Russian tea cakes, and your chocolate pies. I'll also remember how much you would sacrifice to ensure that we never knew how difficult times were for you and the family. You always created happiness and positive memories despite how much we were struggling. So many of my Christmas memories and traditions come from you and I don't want you to ever forget how much that means to me. I love you, Mom.

Dad- Despite never getting the opportunities to be with you on Christmas morning, you always knew how to surprise us. Whether it was a 1983 Dodge Aries (my first car), a football, athletic gear, or a remote-controlled car, you always made sure to send us back to our Mom's house with a smile. I can't thank you enough for moving away from eating lamb on Christmas and actually cooking food that was more within the norm of society. Turkey and ham are a much better option. Thank you for providing us boys with the necessary qualities that have contributed to us becoming men. You could have gone home after the divorce, but you chose to stay. A huge sacrifice that doesn't go unrecognized. I'm eternally thankful that you're my father and I have, do, and will always love you.

My Brothers (Brian & Phil)- You guys have been there each and every year. I remember having to "fake" my belief in Santa Clause for two years after I found out at an early age. It wasn't easy, but it made me realize that, sometimes, childhood cheer and memories are more important than the truth. I remember the cheap little gifts you two would always get me while you were in elementary school. As we got older, the cooler our gifts would be. Whether it was a CD, a DVD, or a game...you guys always knew how to make the most of it. I look forward to our first Christmas together (hopefully next year) and I want the both of you to know that I will always love you.

Tyler- My life was saved the moment I held you. Before that moment on December 9th, 2006, I never thought I could love someone completely and unconditionally again. You changed all of that. The moment that I held you was the moment that my ego and my over-inflated sense of self-worth were dissipated. You will always be like my own son. You saved me that day and I promise to spend the rest of my life loving you unconditionally and making sure that your childhood is filled with memories of joy, laughter, and hugs. I love you, Tyler. Thank you for being born.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Impeachment of Louisiana District Judge G. Thomas Porteous

For the eighth time in history, and the first time this century, the Senate has removed a federal judge from office. On Wednesday, Louisiana District Judge G. Thomas Porteous was found guilty of all four articles of impeachment. He was also found guilty on charges of corruption.

Porteous becomes the first federal official since President Bill Clinton to be impeached and the first since Chief Judge Walter Nixon of the Southern District of Mississippi on November 3, 1989 to be removed from office. President Bill Clinton appointed former-Judge Porteous back in 1994.

On March 11, 2010, the House of Representatives approved all four articles of impeachment against Porteous. On March 17, 2010, the Senate organized Porteous’ impeachment trial. Finally, on December 7th, 2010, Porteous was removed from office and, by approval of a motion, was disqualified from ever holding office again.

Each of the four articles of impeachment requires a minimum 2/3 vote in the Senate. Porteous was accused of “incompatible with the trust placed in him”, a “longstanding pattern of conduct that demonstrates his unfitness to serve”, making false statements in his bankruptcy filing, and making false statements to the Senate and the Federal Bureau of Investigation in connection with his nomination to the federal bench.

Before impeachment proceedings can begin, a quorum must be assembled. A quorum is the necessary number of Senators needed in order to fully carry out the task at hand. Of the 100 Senators, 96 were present in this process. In the process of an actual impeachment, the House of Representatives vote for the articles of impeachment and the Senate votes for the impeachment and the removal of the official from their current office. The Senate can also disqualify them from holding office ever again.

According to the Senate Impeachment Trial Committee, the “procedures and constitutional requirements” in Senate trials of an impeached judge are “somewhat less well-defined than those of criminal trials”. Because of the seriousness of each impeachment, every procedural process is different.

The Constitution does not specify as to whether or not the person impeached has the legal right to counsel, the role of the Executive Branch and the amount of involvement in the procedural process, and the “value of precedent with respect to the structure of the proceedings”. There is very little “constitutional guidance” in regards to the procedures by which to conduct an impeachment trial.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Cancer

Picture yourself as a head CEO or decision-maker for a major company. Keep in mind that your basic mindset is: keep the stockholders happy, make sure that there is a constant demand for your product, job security for you and everyone else that works for the company, stay ahead of the competition, and to expand the company.

If you owned a jean company, would you produce pairs of jeans that lasted for years or would you produce jeans that started to deteriorate after a certain amount of time? Which option would create a higher demand for your product? If consumers were only required to purchase one pair of jeans that lasted them for years on end, would the desire for your product increase or decrease? Wouldn't it be better to produce a product that would need to be replaced a year or so after its first initial use?

I want you to think about all of the business decisions that you would need in order to run a successful, efficient company. Now, envision yourself as a director of a major non-profit organization. Would you use similar business-minded decisions? Now, envision yourself as a director of a major cancer association. Do these two positions require similarly minded business decisions?

We all know or have known someone personally affected by cancer. In fact, there are many that may read this that have had cancer and managed to survive it. I tip my hat to you.

I watch a lot of sports. I always feel that Major League Baseball and the National Football League bring much attention (and financial donations) to the issue of breast cancer. However, I've done a lot of thinking about this and I'm starting to have mixed feelings about cancer.

We can all admit that cancer is a horrible thing for any person and/or family to go through. However, what happens when the most heavily-funded organization in the fight against breast cancer vows to work towards a cure? From a business standpoint, does this make any sense? If you worked hard to get to the top of an organization as successful as the American Cancer Society, would you work hard enough to put yourself and tens of thousands of people out of work? In my opinion, it's like trusting the oil companies to come up with alternative fuel options or ways to decrease our dependence on foreign oil.

Even though these cancer awareness organizations are non-profit organizations, they're run like a business.

Why would Levi's create jeans that didn't rip in the same spot each and every time? Why would shoe companies build shoes that lasted? For one, it would decrease sales. Decreasing sales for any business or industry is not a desired strategy.

Businesses compete for our business and try to provide products that make our lives easier and better. Businesses are designed to create and continue a demand for their product/s. For example, Coca-Cola is the most successful soda company in the world. Why do they continually spend the most money advertising? They have a budget and create financial goals for themselves to meet so that they can continue to satisfy stockholders and to expand.

Can we say the same thing about non-profit organizations that are designed to bring awareness and to attempt to come up with a cure? Are we, in some way, merely fueling a system that becomes dependent upon donations and volunteers? Sure, we feel good donating to these causes and volunteering our time, but are we actually making a difference?

Are these organizations functioning under the same mindset as the military industrial complex? If we had world peace, there would be no need for companies that specialized in making guns, tanks, etc. We would be destroying a crucial area of the job market.
I'm not trying to demonize the American Cancer Association or any other organization that pursues a cure for all forms of cancers and other debilitating medical diagnoses. However, I'm asking people to think about it. Think about the job security of delaying or putting off a cure for cancer so that one can continue to have work. As more and more people are becoming diagnosed with cancer, the number of people willing to donate in hopes of helping to find a cure.

Cancer is something that we will all, most likely, either deal with personally or amongst those we love. As long as people have cancer, there will always be job security in the American Cancer Society.

What I'm getting at is this: Can we logically trust an organization to scientifically develop a cure for cancer when doing so would go against their basic business mindset? Would you help out the organization or business that you worked for develop a computer program or a machine that would make your job obsolete and unnecessary?

Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Notebook

Now, I know what most of you are thinking, "Dude, that's a chick movie and you're writing a blog about it?"
Yes, I am.
The first time that I saw this movie, it brought me to tears. My tears, however, were much different than most other people's. You see, this movie connects with me on an entirely different level.
This movie reminds me of my grandparents. It reminds me of how much my grandfather truly loved my grandmother. I know that some people may think that I'm saying that, but I saw just how true it was.
I believe the year was 1999-2000. My Mom received a serious call from my grandfather. Something was desperately wrong with my grandmother. Everyone in the family was contacted.
When we got there, we learned that she has a stroke and was in a coma. I remember seeing her day after day and she showed no response whatsoever. They would press on her sternum and she would show discomfort, but she showed no real signs of life. It was horrible seeing her like that. It ripped me apart inside seeing her lying there, helpless...lifeless.
I remember the look in my grandfather's eyes. He had spent so much time crying and he hadn't slept in days. The doctor came in to tell him that he should really go home and rest a while and then return. I still remember hearing what he told the doctor, "That's my sweetheart in there. I'm not going to leave her." And he never did.
He was there every night and every day. I never saw what real love was until that very moment. He never left her side.
She eventually woke up out of her coma and the entire family was full of joy. The look on my grandfather's face was that of relief.
They say that when you get married that you exchange vows. Each party vows to be there for the other, until death do you part. He stood by that vow. He never left her side, she was never alone.
From that point on, I had hope in my heart. I saw the true power of love and the miracles that it creates. My parents never demonstrated what a healthy relationship consists of or what one actually looks like. In fact, I never believed in marriage until I saw my grandfather and the fact that he loved my grandmother with all of his heart.
The Notebook reminds me of them. It reminds me of my grandfather, Big John. He was a huge man, but he had the biggest heart. And the love that he had for my grandmother, gives me hope.
It's because of him that I know the miracles that love can create. I've met people that don't really see what the big deal with marriage is. They see all of the failing marriages around them and it deters them from making that step.
I've come close, once. My first girlfriend. Her name was Kristol. I loved her with all of my heart. We were together for 3 years. From 1998-2001. Ever since her and I broke up, I have never been able to love another woman as much as I had loved her. I guess that I can't do it because of the fear of hurting as much as I did. I'm afraid to take that leap; a leap of faith.
Maybe it just hasn't happened because I haven't met the right person. Because deep down inside, I know what I'm capable of. I know what my heart is capable of. I learned it from my grandfather.
I like this movie because it makes me think of them. It makes me sad that both of them are gone, but it makes me happy because of the life lesson that they showed me. Even in her dementia-ridden days (after he had passed away), she would always talk about John "coming to pick her up". She never forgot about him. She forgot about a lot of things, but not him. Her heart was stronger than her mind's weakness.
That's what love is, the strongest of any emotion. Despite what people may think about me, I believe in all of this fairytale stuff. I'm not saying that it's going to happen for me. What I'm saying is that it's possible. And that sliver of possibility, makes me hopeful for what is yet to come.

RIP
John George Saegner, Sr. & Terry Jo Lavers- I love and miss you guys both so very much.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Removing the Filter

The strength of human compassion exceeds that of greed, ignorance, and hatred.
When it all comes crashing down, when the end is here,
The compassion of human beings will come to the surface.
When what separates us from others is gone,
We will all be the same.
When our material possessions vanish,
So will our egos, so will our biases.
We will no longer see color,
We will no longer see differences.
Because, in that moment, we will be as one.
Our hearts will swell and our sleeves will roll up our arms.
We will become the "have nots"; we will become human once again.
Our job titles and social standing,
Will lose their meaning, lose their importance.
For in this moment, we are all fighting to stay alive.
For the first time in our lives, our goals are the same.
It feels like July 5th, 1776,
September 12, 2001.
The Vietnam vet begging for change,
Once again becomes visible.
The filter that I used to wear every single day,
Is no more.
I no longer see statuses,
I no longer see advantages or disadvantages.
I am no longer myopic,
I no longer have tunnel-vision.
My uncalloused hands,
Become tools of hope; become the hands of compassion.
I now see the world through the eyes of the people that I've ignored,
The people that I've neglected,
Through the eyes of the people that the rest of the world ignored.
I now see children crying; scared, just as much as I.
My hands dig, my hands carry, and my hands comfort.
The hands that once held a diploma,
Now hold a crying girl, looking for her mother and father.
The hands that once held an iPod,
Now carry sandbags, stroke the head of an innocent child.
In times like these, we just want to be comforted.
These are the moments that pull us from our comfort zone,
Bring those that are "high up", crashing to the ground.
Are we capable of creating these moments now?
Can we create a state where the only thing that we know,
Is that we are all human?
That we all breathe the same air?
Can we roll up our sleeves and comfort someone in need?
Can we remove the filter from our eyes,
And see the world for what it really is?
We all live and we all die.
Nobody should have to go through life alone,
Nobody should have to feel inferior to someone else.
I have awoken,
I have removed the filter from my eyes.
I suggest that you do the same.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Voice

The Voice

You're on your back,
You're down,
But you're not out.
We all end up here at one point or another.
This is your test.
Do you stay down or do you get back up?
I want you to do something for me.
Close your eyes,
Slowly take in a deep breath,
and listen.
You hear that?
Deep down inside,
Yeah, there.
Do you hear it?
That's called hope.
We all hear it.
Some choose to listen,
While others decide to ignore it.
What are you going to do?
Don't ignore it.
Let it envelope you,
Let it seep in,
Let it flow through you,
Let it become you.
Hope...
The one thing that separates those that do,
From those that do not.
I know that you're down,
But fret not.
Take it all in,
Remember this moment.
For this moment is a lesson,
A life lesson.
It won't always be like this.
Moments like this,
Are what create moments of happiness.
These are the moments,
Where everything falls into place,
If only for that time.
For in that moment,
Everything is yours;
You own that moment.
Now, envision those experiences from your past.
Believe that they will happen again.
You may feel alone,
But I'm here with you.
I'm that voice inside of you,
I'm the hope...
That beckons for your attention.
Believe in me,
Because I believe in you.
Through our cooperation,
Anything is possible.
The moments that cause many to fall,
Are the moments that you choose to excel.
Rise to your feet,
Hold your head high.
Realize the importance of that moment.
For one day we will share the same voice,
And my words will echo through you.
And your voice, will become someone else's hope.
And our hope,
Will be the inner voices of many.
For we are the voice of the world;
And it's our hope,
That will change the world for the better.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

My Muslim Brothers and Sisters

My Dear Muslim Brothers and Sisters,

I'm writing this to you in hopes that many of you read it before this Saturday. I am friends with many of you and many of you know me from our time spent discussing politics, American policy in the Middle East/Northern Africa, and discussing religious differences. Over that time I have grown to respect the Muslim faith and many of its followers. I feel that we reached a level of mutual understanding; a mutual understanding that I wish that all Americans could experience. I feel that our level of understanding, if experienced by all Americans, would forever lay to rest the "Islamophobia" that plagues this nation; this world.

Initially following September 11, 2001, I became a skeptic of the Muslim faith. In fact, I became a skeptic of all faiths. I felt that religion was the foundation that fueled the extremist actions of certain individuals (9/11, Branch Davidians, the FLDS XYZ Compound in Texas, etc.). However, I now know that I was wrong. It was wrong of me to judge an entire faith based upon the actions of a small group of individuals.

I believe that many of the Americans that can be labeled as "Islamophobic" have never personally known a Muslim man, woman, and/or child. They have never sat down with a Muslim and had a cup of قهوة عربية‎ Many of them don't understand the Muslim prayer ritual and what it entails. And many of them believe the words of influential (albeit, uninformed) radio/cable TV personalities that have never taken the time to personally know a Muslim.

It's wrong to judge Americans because of the actions of Michael Enright (NYC cab-driver stabbing).
It's wrong to judge Americans for the actions of Terry Jones.
And it's wrong to judge Muslims for the actions of 19 al-Qaeda terrorists on September 11, 2001.

I'm writing this in hopes that many of my fellow Americans will agree with what I say.

We do not blame Muslims for 9/11. We know that you, like us, stood there in awe as the Twin Towers fell to the ground. We know that you felt the same pain that we did because, like us, you love this country and the freedoms that it provides.

So, if Terry Jones and the rest of the Dove World Outreach Center do, in fact, burn Quran's on September 11, 2010 in Gainesville, Florida, please understand...

- That we detest these actions just as much as you.
- That their actions are merely an attempt to gain media attention.
- That we are as offended by their actions as you are.
- And that their actions are not a reflection of the United States or its citizens.
- With that being said: Terry Jones and his followers are to America as Osama bin Laden and the 19 al-Qaeda terrorists are to Muslims.

I understand that the "pending" actions of Terry Jones and his followers may anger you and may upset you. However, don't let their actions prevent you from reaching out and creating friendships with non-Muslims, such as my Muslim friends did with me. Many of my Muslim friends took the time to sit down and explain the beauty of their faith with me. They answered my many questions; possibly the same questions that many "Islamophobic" Americans have, but will never take the time to actually ask a Muslim.

All it took was patience, understanding, and respect. That's it. One Muslim man and one agnostic man reached a level of mutual understanding and respect.

I never thought that I would ever know a faith, a culture, and/or a people more than I know Muslims. I also know that this level of understanding is realistic and attainable for all or most Americans.

Americans fear what they do not know. Tensions may be high now, but, with patience, understanding, and respect (and, ultimately, time), I feel that relations between Muslims and Americans will improve.

We, as Americans, hope and pray that Terry Jones and his followers do not go forth with their plans to burn copies of the Quran. We find the act deplorable, disgusting, and done out of ignorance and out of a complete lack of understanding.

الحُمْقُ داء ولا دواء له

They are only doing this because they want attention and, quite possibly, to compel Muslims to react unfavorably. In other words, they're doing this to "push your buttons". By giving them what they want (death threats, protests, media attention) you are fulfilling their expectations; you're giving them what they want.

We're asking you to prove them wrong. Show them that their actions are not going to incite the violent reaction that they're hoping for. Demonstrate to them that Islam is a religion of peace. On Saturday, there will be cameras specifically looking for anything that "justifies" their actions or that could be used for anti-Muslim propaganda. This is an opportunity to follow in the steps of Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr.

مصائب قوم عند قوم فوائد

I love the United States and I'm proud to be an American. I would love to see the day when the majority of Americans share a mutual understanding with members of the Muslim faith. I know that this is possible. This Saturday could be a crucial building block in the path of understanding between Muslims and Americans. Do not trade the handshake for the fist. We are all in this together; and together, we can start making this an America that excludes no one.

السلام عليكم

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Political Apathy

Political apathy in this country is a growing problem that needs to be immediately addressed. I've refused to discuss it because I didn't want to rub certain people the wrong way. I tried to avoid controversy because I'd rather get to know someone before getting completely cutoff from them because of my political views. However, things have changed and so have I.
Since when did discussing politics become as divisive as discussing religion? There is a right way to discuss politics with someone and there is a wrong way. In my opinion, the people that try to avoid political discussions either: a) don't care, b) don't know anything about the topic at hand, and/or c) have become utterly disgusted in the political atmosphere in this country that they have turned a blind eye towards Washington, DC.
I have respected their wishes for long enough. I no longer care about how I am perceived or whether a certain person likes me or not. I love my country and I worry about the future. I'm no longer going to sit quietly and watch my country continue down the path that it is now currently traveling on. I'm not here to make friends; I'm here to make a difference.
Now, I have a lot of friends that like to discuss politics with me. Foreign, domestic, etc., it doesn't matter. However, there are some of my friends that prefer to talk about reality television or which musician/athlete is dating Kim Kardashian. I don't care about reality TV nor do I care about any talentless celebrity. I care about my country. It's a shame that more people don't feel the same way. It's because of them that this country is in the shape that it is today.
I understand how a young person could be shied away in regards to politics. It's difficult to understand, there is a lot going on, and it's difficult to keep up with the daily occurrences in the state capital and Washington, DC. This is especially difficult for some people because there are so many other things that require our attention. We all have bills to pay, jobs to work, kids to take care of, homes to maintain, etc. There's so much to do and so little time. As I said, I understand these reasons; I just refuse to accept them.
Your political inaction makes it that much harder for those of us that actually do pay attention. Despite all of the disturbances in life, many of us make the necessary sacrifices in order to devote time towards the democratic process. Some people come home from work, eat dinner, have a glass of wine, watch TV, and go to bed. Other people, like myself, come home from work, read, study, and analyze all things political. Getting more than 4 hours of sleep in a given night is considered a success. We do this because we care and we need to know what's going on. We need to know because we feel that it's important for you to know as well.
I don't blame people for wanting to enjoy their lives. However, I do blame people for wanting to do nothing BUT enjoy their lives. True, it is your life and you're free to do whatever your heart desires. However, it's your political apathy that makes this a personal issue between you and I. The responsibility that you refuse to accept must be carried by other people.
My job is difficult because politically apathetic people are becoming more and more prevalent. The political processes in the United States is like carrying a heavy object; the more people that we have lifting, the less energy it requires from each individual person.
I understand that some of the "things" that take place in Washington DC are disgusting. Believe me, I'm with you. However, these "things" were made possible because the elected officials knew that they could get away with it. Most of the actions taking place in Washington DC are made public. However, there is so much information to follow that doing so is very difficult and, at times, hard to locate.
I've heard from many people that they hate politics and would rather not talk about it. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard that from people. Every time I have heard someone say that, I wanted to tell them exactly what I've been saying this entire time.
I don't care that you don't like discussing politics. Because of your apathy, I, and others like me, have to carry the weight of the responsibility that you refuse to accept. This country is in the shape that it is now because of people like you. I share some responsibility because there have been times where I could have tried a little harder. However, I'm the one volunteering time to educate voters on the issues and the candidates, you aren't. I'm also the one that encourages people to register to vote and gives them a ride down to the polls on Election Day. I also try to simplify things for people so that they can better understand it. You, however, just complain about the latest episode of Jersey Shore and how poorly the running back on your fantasy football team is playing.
This isn't just my country; it belongs to every one of us. We all play a crucial role in this democratic republic and we all have a responsibility. Simply voting isn't enough to fully carry out your patriotic duties. We all must engage, remain active, read, listen, learn, and carry that passion on to other people. We must, once again, take this country back. I'm not talking about taking it back from the Democrats or the Republicans. I'm talking about taking it back from the very people that have made Washington DC what it is today; the very thing that turns people off from the political process. They've made it this disgusting and WE did nothing to stop them.
I don't care where you are on the political/economic spectrum; we're all Americans. We all have a duty to perform and we all must do our parts.
This will not turn around overnight. This will take time, sacrifice, and a real effort from people that understand the process and where to find information. Those people, such as myself, have a duty to educate other people and to make them self-sufficient. They, in turn, will help someone else. And so on and so on. This is what it will take.
It doesn't matter what kind of job you have or what kind of career you work in. We all perform a duty that affects another person's life. Whether you change someone's oil, style their hair, play music, fill in a pothole with concrete, or you bring someone their food order, you all perform a duty that we need/want and people are willing to pay you for it. We all play a role in someone else's life each day. Positively influencing people shouldn't stop as soon as you clock out. It should be a continual process.
We all care about our family, our friends, and ourselves. In the basic sense, that is consistent for all people. Our country has an affect over all of these people, including people we don't know. We should all care about our country, but this isn't always the case. When a country starts falling apart, so do its people. Case in point, the Great Depression. The well-being of a country affects all of us. It starts in the neighborhoods where we live, carries on to the towns and cities that we live in, to the counties we live in, to the state that those counties are in, and, ultimately, our country. Sometimes just helping someone in our neighborhood can ultimately help out an entire town, a county, a state, and/or an entire country.
From this day on I will do whatever is within my means to educate other people and help them better understand the issues, the candidates, and, ultimately, the political process. I will make sacrifices when needed and I will encourage others to do the same. I will not avoid the topic of politics simply because someone feels uncomfortable or offended. Nobody should be offended by a person trying to make this country a better place. They feel uncomfortable because they're just starting off. Find a common ground and move on from there. Get their interest and tell them the important their participation is. Remain as unpartisan as you can and for as long as you can. Once people start becoming interested and engaged, they'll find their own paths. There is nothing worse than having a politically active individual that only understands one side of particular subject. The difference between right and wrong is purely based upon our own morals and beliefs.
I promise to read as much as I can and on as many subjects/topics as I can. There is no limit to the knowledge that one can absorb. I promise to remain passionate and I only ask that you do the same.
The disgusting state of affairs in Washington DC is the result of your political apathy. Instead of popping the cork on another bottle of wine, try to learn about the American political process. Instead of turning on Jersey Shore, try reading The Economist. Instead of turning on Spongebob Squarepants for a child, try teaching them about the American presidents. There are no more excuses and certainly no one else you can blame. Take responsibility for yourself, fulfill your duties as an American citizen, and start paying attention.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Light At the End Of the Tunnel

I've been living in Montana for well over eight months now and it has been some of the best times of my life. I've gone on some great adventures, met some amazing people, and lived life the way that we all should experience life...with freedom. I could do as I please, drive as fast as I wanted, and had an excuse to closely follow politics without feeling guilty, nerdy, or doing it for a class. I was getting paid to do what I loved.
However, this recent chapter in my life has brought upon some of the worst times in my life. I have recently injured my knee one week before my health insurance kicked in. I'm having to pay for doctor appointments, emergency room visits, and surgery all on my own. That alone has made my life very difficult and stressful. I have received no help from the organization that I work for and nobody that I work with seems to understand exactly how hard this situation is for me. The only person that has been there every step of the way has been my boy, Chris. I don't know what I would do if it weren't for him.
I haven't quite been myself since it happened. I'm like the athlete that injures himself for the first time only to realize that he isn't made of steel and that he, too, is mortal. It's not an easy concept to embrace, but I have really had no other option.
While I have been out here I have truly missed meeting new people, the sounds of life in the city, and flirting with women. I know that doesn't paint a very good picture of me, but I enjoy having balance in my life. I'm a guy's guy, but there has always been a part of me that enjoys the company of a female. Something that Montana has completely deprived me of.
Which leads me to the point that I'm trying to make. There was a young woman that I met in my very first class at the University of Washington in Seattle. Her and I were in the same Human Rights study group. She was short and cute; I instantly liked her. We went out a few times and hung out at her place and drank wine, but nothing really came of it. She really made an effort to let me know how she felt. Sure, I noticed it, but I just wasn't in the mood or the mindset to start dating again. That was why I broke up with my ex when I first got into the University of Washington. Silly excuse now that I think about it. However, she told me that she knew that my mind wasn't in the right place at the time and that she completely understood that.
Upon our college graduation in 2009, we were one of the few people that we knew that actually got a job in the field that we majored in.
We both had to move and we both had to do it alone. Alone is where we found a common ground.
We started emailing each other a few times a week. When I finally moved into town and began to enjoy something called "cell phone service", we began talking. I have become closer to her than I have with most of my other friends. The friends that I have had back home, we still talk on occasion, but not as much as we used to.
She and I went out, took a risk, and took the jobs that we wanted to do. We don't get fancy benefits, we don't get paid much, and we certainly don't have cadillac health insurance. However, we are doing what we love and doing it, despite all of the obvious drawbacks. Drawbacks that prevented other people from taking these positions.
I have always seen her drive and passion towards particular topics and we have discussed many of them on the phone and in person. We may not agree, but we do share a common respect for one another. And that's another thing...we're not all that much alike. From my previous experience with women, I see this as a good thing.
From the beginning, I knew that she liked me. I thought that she was cute, but I really didn't focus too much on dating while in my final years at UofW. She went on to be the Editor of The Daily (the student newspaper at the University of Washington) and went on an internship to Greece to work for one of their papers. She also interned for an avid outdoors magazine (the name eludes me at the moment). She has always done what she loved and done it so effectively. I truly admire that and I have to say that I have met very few women in my life that can hold a candle up to Erinn.
When I talk to her, it feels as though I'm back home in Seattle. She makes the nine hours between here and Seattle disappear. She listens as much as she talks. We both share a morbid obsession with the X-Files. She is Scully and I am Mulder.
I can't say what lies ahead between her and I, but I definitely like it. Of the few connections that I've had since I moved out here, the connection between her and I is the one that I cherish most. I had an opportunity to see where this went, but I never made a move. However, after speaking with her, I feel more comfortable about the situation now than I did while we were both living in Seattle.
Living in Montana has given me one gift: the time and space to reflect and think. I have done just that. I have thought about what I want and how I'm going to get it. I have been able to live here for 8 months with little to no female interaction and I've been able to focus on what is most important...my future. And a future with Erinn in it, is a future worth looking forward to.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Just Now

I tend to have dreams where I physically act out my dream as I'm lying in bed. Well, tonight was no different and it was the first time that I have done it in about a month or so. I was dreaming that I was camping in the woods and I was trying to get a raccoon out of a tent. I ended up kicking him in my dream and I ended up kicking my injured leg in reality. I woke up in an extreme amount of pain. I just grabbed my knee and grit my teeth. It hurt so bad. I have since put my brace back on in hopes of preventing this from ever happening again.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Alive

I love the way she smiles
She calms me, like the sound of the waves crashing on the beach
When I'm around her, time stands still
Her eyes lock on mine...
So powerful, yet so compassionate
She makes me feel alive
Not much life in a small town such as this
She changed all of that, she changed me
What seemed like a long time, wasn't long enough
For now she's gone
A connection was felt, if even for a moment
Have to respect the rules of the game
Her availability was naught
She awoke something inside of me,
Something that I have missed
She distracted me from the dismal surroundings that which encompass me
She gave me something to look forward to
Her face would light up whenever she laughed
I could always make her laugh
I couldn't get enough of it
I long to talk to her, to hear her voice
I hope that we haven't seen the last of one another
No expectations
Just a man looking to feel alive once again
In the presence of her.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Waiting

As I glance at her, my ears fall deaf to the surrounding world around me
I am enamored by her.
Her smile sweeps me into a gentle calm,
I wait for her there.
Some women bring the best out in people,
She is one of those women.
Her presence is undeniable,
Her smile, impossible to ignore.
So close, yet so far.
I long for things that many take for granted.
The first time eyes meet after a first kiss,
The first time eyes speak more than words,
The first time her head rests on my shoulders,
The first time a kiss on her forehead says that you adore her,
And the first time that you realize that she feels the same way that you do.
She is proof that God exists.
She is proof that I know so very little regarding the world around me.
I wish that she could see me.
See me for who I really am.
However, my presence is belittled by hers.
I blend in while she stands out.
My smile is welcomed,
Her smile is contagious.
So, I remain in this gentle calm,
Waiting for her.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What Does It Mean?

Shots ring out all around me...I'm lost.
Like a lost child in a mall or a grocery store.
I scream out for help, but nobody answers.
I swore an oath and I will uphold that oath, but at what cost?
I will defend my country...I will give my life.
However, am I defending my country or am I aiding in the invasion of another?
The "enemies" around me are shooting; however, I understand why they do it.
I'd do the same thing if I were in their position.
For some, family and country are the only important things in life.
If my actions and the actions of my fellow countrymen killed their family...country is all they have to cling on to.
People in other parts of the world have different perspectives on life.
We can all learn from them, as they can from us.
Many do not have what I have or live the life that I do.
Are they wrong for being different?
Is this a "justifiable" war?
I could be at home playing catch with my father right before supper.
I could be in school right now learning how to make this world a better place.
Am I making the world a better place now?
Can the world be improved peacefully or must force be used?
I miss my family...oh, how I long to laugh with them and to eat a home cooked meal with them.
My Dad understood why I enlisted, but my Mother can't come to grips with it.
They wanted me to go to college, but I wanted to see the world.
I wanted to help other people out and to serve my country.
However, who am I serving now?

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Getting Older

Getting older in life is inevitable. Some people enjoy it and some people don't. For those of us that had great childhoods, it tends to be a downer the older we get. My late teens and lower to mid-twenties were some of the best times in my life. I traveled, I had amazing friends, I met some amazing women, I stayed in great shape, and I had loads of fun at parties. However, as I have aged my friends have moved away, staying in shape has become more difficult, and the parties that I enjoy get smaller and smaller.
I've accepted getting older. We can't control it and it's on each and every one of us to make the best of it. Life is like a poker hand...you have to make the best out of the hand that you've been dealt. It's easier to accept because of its inevitability, but that doesn't mean that it's easy. I have had to deal with the biggest changes in my life alone. I still have my good friends, my family, and all of the wonderful people in my life, but I'm not around them while all of this is going on.
Currently, I work for Project Vote Smart in Philipsburg, MT. I couldn't have asked for a better job after graduating. It's in the mix, it's always changing and challenging, and everyday is like being in a political lecture. However, I feel alone out here. I have a great friend and roommate, but I just miss the comfort of being around the people that have been around me most of my life. They know me in ways that nobody else will. They know where I've come from, where I've been, and how much I have changed. I know that a lot of people have to deal with situations like this, but it hasn't necessarily been easy for me.
I enjoy being alone at times. I mean, who wouldn't want to come home from work, eat some dinner, read a book, and go to bed? I know a lot of parents out there would love to do that on a daily basis. However, too much of a great thing is never good.
While growing up it was obvious that I enjoyed being the center of attention. I was the oldest of three boys and I always enjoyed being the smartest and funniest person in a group of people. I liked the spotlight. In fact, I still do. However, the older I get, the harder it becomes to regain that spotlight.
I guess that I just miss the days when I would be surrounded by people that knew me and that understood me. I would never have to explain myself or what I did and why. They just knew. There was a sense of comfort in that. We'd play football games on Thanksgiving and on Super Bowl Sunday and we would do things that normal friends would normally do. However, along the lines, we all grew up and, sadly, grew apart.
We all graduated college, found great jobs, and went our separate ways. As much as I miss it now, I'm glad that we have those memories to think back and reflect upon. We, truly, had a great time together. As far apart as we are now, it'll be the great times that will always bring us together.
Next weekend will be one of these moments. My buddy, George, will be married to his future-wife, Tricia, next weekend. I still remember the day that he told me about their first date. He was in love. I never thought that that situation would escalate to marriage. It's amazing. Of all the people that I know, George and Tricia are happy and they're great together. I've never been happier for two amazing people in my entire life. I love them both.
Maybe it's the fact that my brother and my best friend are moving on to the next stage in their life and getting married. And I'm still here trying to figure it all out. I know that things wouldn't be like this if I were back home or living in a more populated area. Montana is great for some people, but for me, it's only good for a moment.
If I were retired, Montana would be a great place to live and spend the rest of my days. However, I like being around people...particularly people that I'm close with. None of that exists out here and every day that I spend here is another day that I spend away from the people that make me who I am.
I don't believe that people are content with being alone or living in solitude. I think that human contact is something that keeps us sane, something that we all need from time to time. Living out here has made me realize the kind of person that I am.
I'm the kind of guy that loves to go to baseball games, play with his nephew, have a Saturday afternoon coffee with a close friend, watch football at my friend's house on a Sunday morning, have a conversation with my Mom, and spend a Sunday afternoon working on cars with his Dad. That's me. I'm not the kind of guy that is content with sitting around his apartment during the weekend reading and working out. That's not me.
This trip has made me realize a lot about myself. I've learned that Montana is a great place to live, but, at least right now, it's just not for me. As much as people desire time for themselves, I desire time together with those I love. I'm not incapable of living alone; I just know what I want. And what I want, is simple: I want to be myself around those that make me who I am.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Someone Has to Pay

I have seen a surge of students from a few different states arguing about the cost of out-of-state tuition. Do these students live outside of that particular state? No. You may now be asking, "Why aren't they paying in-state tuition?" Well, these students are undocumented. Simply put, the parents of these students immigrated to the United States illegally. I have read that the students are saying, "Why do we have to pay for our parents' mistakes?" My answer is simple: somebody always has to pay.
By allowing the children of illegal immigrants the same rights as the children of parents that obey the law is simply wrong. Look, I'm sorry that you're having to pay for your parents' mistakes, but a line needs to be drawn somewhere.
Immigration is tough issue to tackle. For one, a lot of my friends throughout my life have been the children of illegal immigrants. Two, I think that the influence of other cultures in American culture is extremely beneficial. However, someone needs to put their foot down and enforce the laws that have been put into place. I'm not trying to purposely pick on a particular ethnicity or anything like that. I'm simply trying to address the issue and present a possible solution.
As a Native American, I understand the effects of immigration. I've read Noam Chomsky, Vine Deloria Jr., and Howard Zinn. There comes a time when complaining about something gets in the way of moving on and improving the situation. Times have changed and there are certain laws that exist and we have the proper officials to enforce those laws.
One of the reasons that this problem exists is due to the 1982 Plyler vs. Doe case. The outcome of this case found that public schools were prohibited from refusing students access to a public education regardless of whether they were documented or undocumented. Whether their parents were here legally or illegally. The Court stated that undocumented children have the same right to a free public education as U.S. citizens and permanent residents. Does anyone see a problem with this?
A public education is funded by taxpayer dollars. Why should taxpayers pay for the children of illegal immigrants to go to school? Again, I realize that immigrant parents just want to provide a better life for their children. However, does coming to the United States illegally present children with a moral demonstration on the difference between right and wrong? Other countries may not have immigration laws like the United States, but that's just it...we're the United States. If we want the best for our children and to set the best examples, allowing this problem to continue is only doing more harm than good.
What kind of example does this provide other immigrants wishing to come to the United States legally? It shows them that they could continue to pursue the same time-consuming process of coming to the United States legally or they could risk coming here illegally and enjoying the benefits of living in the greatest country in the world and have everyone else pay for their children's education.
Here are a number of observations:
1. The Plyler vs. Doe decision has done irreparable damage to this country and its public education system. Giving illegal immigrants incentive for staying in the United States is one of the major problems with this issue.
2. If you are a high school student wishing to go to college and your parents came to the United States illegally...you're going to have to pay the price.
3. The benefits that American citizens enjoy shall be denied to those coming to this country illegally.
4. The longer we wait to fix this problem, the larger the resistance will be.
5. The United States is open to all people. If people just followed the rules, we wouldn't be in this predicament.

What I'm suggesting should not be that difficult to follow through with. We need to think about the message that this sends to the rest of the world and immigrants wishing to come to the United States via legal means.
In regards to the college tuition issue: students that are here because their parents brought them here illegally will just have to face the consequences of their parents' actions. I'd be open to having their parents obtain legal citizenship through a hefty fine, a citizenship test, and they must return to their country of origin for one calendar year.
The only reason that there are so many people not in favor of this stance is because we have allowed the issue to escalate to the point that it has. The sooner that it is addressed, the easier it will be to fix.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Я тебя люблю

Every single thing that I do reminds me of you,
You were everything to me,
You would make me smile when no one else could,
Your touch was so comforting,
I miss it,
I miss everything about you,
I miss the way you looked at me in the morning from the other side of the bed,
I miss the way you laughed,
I miss being there for you,
I miss seeing the world through your eyes,
I wish that things were different, I really do,
However, I know that you're happy,
And I would never jeopardize that,
The pain that I feel now is a consequence of my actions,
Or in reality, my inactions,
I abandoned you when you needed me most,
And I did it for selfish reasons,
I did it because I was scared,
I just remember that you were always there,
You were always there for me,
And I never returned the favor,
I never deserved you,
I never deserved your love,
Sometimes it takes a while for man to realize what he has truly done,
He pushed away the love of his life.
There are so many things that I miss about you,
I miss the way you threw your leg over mine at night,
I miss the way you'd laugh when I tickled you,
I miss seeing you driving away,
Knowing that I'd see you again very soon,
I miss how you gave me everything,
You were my everything.
I sit here, again, early in the morning,
Knowing that you're laughing with someone else,
Knowing that you're someone else's everything,
Knowing that you have someone else in your heart,
Knowing that I'm all the way out here, all alone,
No other woman made me feel the way that you did,
No other woman loved me the way that you did,
No other woman touched me the way that you did,
To know that you're gone...is a hard concept to grasp,
It may have been a few years ago,
But it still stings,
Because when you realize what you had is really gone,
It's hard to cope,
It's hard to feel the way that you did when you were with her.
What made her so perfect?
Her imperfections,
Her ability to love,
Her smile,
Her wonderful heart,
The light in her eyes when she laughed,
The way I felt when she said, "I love you, Matt."
I wish that I could get one more chance.
One more chance to show her that I made a mistake,
Another chance to show her that I know what went wrong,
Another chance to treat her the way that she deserves to be treated,
Another chance to feel the joy that we both felt while we were together.
I miss you so very much.
I miss all of the things that only I knew about.
No other woman in my life made me feel the way that you did.
You are amazing,
And I've known that for quite some time,
I've known how truly wonderful you really are,
How amazing your life story is,
How much I want you in my life.
I know that I have apologized,
But words cannot express how truly sorry I am for what I've done.
So, there are some things that I'd like you to know:
I miss waking up next to you,
I miss how soft your lips were,
I miss how natural and beautiful you are,
I miss how much I missed you whenever you drove home,
I miss how happy we were together,
I miss making you smile,
I miss thinking of creative ways to show you how much I loved you,
I miss your beautiful voice and how you sung like no other person I know.
But most of all,
I miss you.
For the things that I forgot to mention,
And for the things that I could continually add,
You are still an amazing woman, to me.
It was hard for me to be around you because I felt this way.
However, I now know how to explain my feelings through words.
I miss you.
So very much.
I love you,
And I wish that you were back in my life.
Я тебя люблю.