Now, I know what most of you are thinking, "Dude, that's a chick movie and you're writing a blog about it?"
Yes, I am.
The first time that I saw this movie, it brought me to tears. My tears, however, were much different than most other people's. You see, this movie connects with me on an entirely different level.
This movie reminds me of my grandparents. It reminds me of how much my grandfather truly loved my grandmother. I know that some people may think that I'm saying that, but I saw just how true it was.
I believe the year was 1999-2000. My Mom received a serious call from my grandfather. Something was desperately wrong with my grandmother. Everyone in the family was contacted.
When we got there, we learned that she has a stroke and was in a coma. I remember seeing her day after day and she showed no response whatsoever. They would press on her sternum and she would show discomfort, but she showed no real signs of life. It was horrible seeing her like that. It ripped me apart inside seeing her lying there, helpless...lifeless.
I remember the look in my grandfather's eyes. He had spent so much time crying and he hadn't slept in days. The doctor came in to tell him that he should really go home and rest a while and then return. I still remember hearing what he told the doctor, "That's my sweetheart in there. I'm not going to leave her." And he never did.
He was there every night and every day. I never saw what real love was until that very moment. He never left her side.
She eventually woke up out of her coma and the entire family was full of joy. The look on my grandfather's face was that of relief.
They say that when you get married that you exchange vows. Each party vows to be there for the other, until death do you part. He stood by that vow. He never left her side, she was never alone.
From that point on, I had hope in my heart. I saw the true power of love and the miracles that it creates. My parents never demonstrated what a healthy relationship consists of or what one actually looks like. In fact, I never believed in marriage until I saw my grandfather and the fact that he loved my grandmother with all of his heart.
The Notebook reminds me of them. It reminds me of my grandfather, Big John. He was a huge man, but he had the biggest heart. And the love that he had for my grandmother, gives me hope.
It's because of him that I know the miracles that love can create. I've met people that don't really see what the big deal with marriage is. They see all of the failing marriages around them and it deters them from making that step.
I've come close, once. My first girlfriend. Her name was Kristol. I loved her with all of my heart. We were together for 3 years. From 1998-2001. Ever since her and I broke up, I have never been able to love another woman as much as I had loved her. I guess that I can't do it because of the fear of hurting as much as I did. I'm afraid to take that leap; a leap of faith.
Maybe it just hasn't happened because I haven't met the right person. Because deep down inside, I know what I'm capable of. I know what my heart is capable of. I learned it from my grandfather.
I like this movie because it makes me think of them. It makes me sad that both of them are gone, but it makes me happy because of the life lesson that they showed me. Even in her dementia-ridden days (after he had passed away), she would always talk about John "coming to pick her up". She never forgot about him. She forgot about a lot of things, but not him. Her heart was stronger than her mind's weakness.
That's what love is, the strongest of any emotion. Despite what people may think about me, I believe in all of this fairytale stuff. I'm not saying that it's going to happen for me. What I'm saying is that it's possible. And that sliver of possibility, makes me hopeful for what is yet to come.
RIP
John George Saegner, Sr. & Terry Jo Lavers- I love and miss you guys both so very much.
1 comment:
This was nice, Matthew. Even though I own this movie, I still watch it every time I flip past it and cry all over again, for the same reason as you. By the way, it was New Year's Eve 1999. I called to warn my mom that I was coming to steal her suitcase for my trip to San Diego to train people the next day and in the time it took for me to get the dogs in the car and get up there, the street was full of firetrucks and an ambulance. Dad had called me, but I didn't hear those calls for hours later. And the part about the sternal rub is wrong. She didn't react at all, that's why they thought she would never recover, particularly after they found the stroke in her brain stem, which is the most catastrophic place for it to occur. I have always figured that daddy just loved her back to us. And yeah, he was the epitome of what Love should mean. And you're right you never learned it from either of us, I'm glad you had my folks to learn it from cause in fact, people really do Love each other forever. Please delete this now.
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